Cracks and All

“The world breaks everyone, and afterward, many are strong at the broken places.” — Ernest Hemingway

Everyone wants to be more authentic, right? Still, most of us feel the pressure to keep it together—head high, shoulders back, push through. Never let them see you sweat. The thing is, relationships aren’t built on perfection. They’re built on being real. So, maybe the strongest thing we can do is stop performing and start showing up—cracks and all.

None of us are perfect. None of us arrive at success unscathed. What if the cracks—the setbacks, the failures, the hard lessons—are the most powerful part of our story?

If you’ve never heard of kintsugi, let me introduce you. It’s the ancient Japanese art of repairing broken pottery with gold. Instead of hiding the flaws, it highlights them—honouring imperfection as part of the object’s history. The once-broken piece becomes even more beautiful because it was broken and made whole again.

Kintsugi is both a metaphor and an art form—a powerful reminder of how we grow through life’s fractures. I carefully choose each piece of art to complement my writing—this one is especially meaningful. Don’t miss the artist’s story at the end.

We All Have Cracks

There are moments that can shatter us—loss, failure, or identity crises that creep in during video calls, over dinner tables, or in hospital corridors. You glance in the mirror and barely recognize yourself.

I’ve spent plenty of time hiding my cracks—pushing down disappointment, masking struggles, and silencing doubts. And I can tell you from experience—it’s exhausting. Being a leader, a parent, a caregiver—it’s not just about what we do, but what we carry. The hardest part isn’t the fall. It’s staying steady for others while we’re breaking under the pressure.

But here’s the truth: the strongest, most grounded people I know are the ones who’ve been broken—and rebuilt—with grace, grit, and gold. Not despite their scars, but because of them.

That’s the quiet power of recovery. The beauty in the repair. The gold in the cracks.

“I can be changed by what happens to me. But I refuse to be reduced by it.” – Maya Angelou

Strong Looks Different Now

Let’s be honest—life is hard, and the world is changing. We’re starting to redefine what strength looks like. It’s no longer about pushing through at all costs. Today, strength is about leading with empathy, honesty, and the courage to embrace what makes us human.

As Harvard Business Review notes, “leaders who practice self-compassion are more resilient, less prone to burnout, and better equipped to support their teams through challenge and change” (Hougaard & Carter, 2018). Healing comes from acknowledging the cracks and choosing to repair them with purpose.

Inspired by the kintsugi philosophy, here are a few principles to help us navigate the stress and near-breaking points life inevitably brings.

Authenticity over Perfection – The polished, “all-together” image we often feel pressured to maintain can be draining and unsustainable. Real leadership begins with being genuine—bringing your full self, flaws, and all. That honesty builds trust and opens the door to deeper connection. The right balance of transparency and authenticity isn’t a weakness—it’s a superpower.

Humility as a Strength – Adam Grant (2023) introduces the idea of confident humility, a powerful mindset that blends self-assurance with openness. It’s knowing when to trust your experience, and when to say, “I don’t know.” Just like gold in kintsugi, it doesn’t cover the imperfections—it honours them, adding depth and character to the whole.

Power of Connection – True connection happens with people who don’t flinch when you say, “I’m not okay.” For me, it’s important that people feel safe to express emotion without judgment. When we lead with empathy, we create environments where people feel safe to share, take risks, and innovate—unlocking their full potential (Brown, 2022).

Recover with Purpose – Sometimes, we drop the bowl. Mistakes happen—even with the best of intentions. While we can’t undo the damage, we can choose how to move forward. The goal isn’t to hide the cracks but to repair them with care—and emerge stronger. Recovery is about learning, adapting, and embracing reinvention as part of the journey.

Honour the Process – Have you ever felt broken? I have. In that blurry space between what was and what’s next, it’s easy to lose sight of yourself. But that space is where transformation happens. We owe it to ourselves—and each other—to sit with the discomfort, accept what is, and keep moving forward. Being “broken” isn’t a flaw. It’s the beginning of something stronger, wiser, and more connected.

Want to put these ideas into practice? Start here.

1) Own the Cracks. Acknowledge mistakes and setbacks honestly.
2) Choose Presence Over Perfection. Build trust by being your real self.
3) Pause Before Reacting. Take time to reset instead of powering through.
4) Ask for Help. Have the confidence to say, “I don’t know.”
5) Model Healthy Repair. Show others that healing is part of the process.

If you’ve checked even one box, welcome to the beautifully cracked club—we’re all just figuring it out with a little gold and a lot of glue.

“There is a crack in everything. That’s how the light gets in.” – Leonard Cohen

About the Artist

Rachelle Cook, who lives with the rare diseases CPVT and Harlequin Syndrome, uses the Japanese art of kintsugi—as a metaphor to embrace both her internal and visible differences. The gold in her artwork traces the part of her face that changes colour due to Harlequin Syndrome, symbolizing not just the impact of her conditions, but her journey toward self-acceptance and honoring her full story (EveryLife Foundation, n.d.).

References:

Hougaard, R., & Carter, J. (2018). Compassionate leadership is necessary — but not sufficient. Harvard Business Review.

Grant, A. (2023). Hidden potential: The science of achieving greater things.

Brown, B. (2012). Daring greatly: How the courage to be vulnerable transforms the way we live, love, parent, and lead.

Edmondson, A. C. (2019). The fearless organization: Creating psychological safety in the workplace for learning, innovation, and growth.

EveryLife Foundation (2025) https://everylifefoundation.org/portfolio-item/kintsugi-quinn/