Go a Little Deeper

I’ve always considered “relationship building” to be one of my core strengths. Yet, I continue to learn more about what it takes to build meaningful connections in the workplace. What I know for sure is that we need each other to be successful.

“Alone we can do little; together we can do so much” – Helen Keller

What I’m starting to uncover with the help of inspiring leaders and authors, is that surface relationships only get us so far. We need to go deeper. Connect with people. Make sure that our peers, colleagues, and followers know they can trust us and that we have their best interest at heart. Only then can we lean into tough conversations, inspire each other, and work together to achieve greatness.

For me, I’m learning how to show vulnerability and bring my whole self to work – it’s what I want others to do, so I need to be a role model. I had a leader who used to occasionally say “it’s nice to see a chink in your armour” — now I get it. He was telling me it’s okay not to be perfect. And reveal my flaws.

As leaders and teammates, we have a responsibility to show up for those around us. We need to do our part to build healthy working relationships that contribute to an inclusive culture, personal fulfillment, and high performing teams.

So, as we continue to work towards becoming our best selves, here are a few things I’m learning about how to improve relationships, foster strong team dynamics and lead with intention…

Trust – Consider authenticity (I experience the real you), logic (I know you can do it) and empathy (I believe you care about me) as key drivers of trust. If we reflect on our own journey, we may see areas where these drivers have been compromised. It’s possible that we need to bring more of our “real self” to work, communicate our ideas more effectively or focus on what others need versus our own goals (Frei, 2021).

Followership – Great partnerships require leaders and followers. The roles are equally important. Leadership includes coaching, mentoring, cascading messages and relationship framing while followership requires decision advocacy, meeting expectations, keeping leaders informed and honouring organizational culture. We all play both roles, depending on the situation, so we need to instinctively know when to switch between the two (Hurwitz, 2015).

Blind Spots – There’s incredible power in being able to give and ask for “radically candid” feedback that is kind, clear, specific, and sincere. It means we need to care deeply about other people and be able to challenge them directly when offering our opinion (Radical Candor, 2022). We collectively get better when we help each other see how our actions may be impacting key relationships or team cohesion.

Virtues – According to Patrick Lencioni (2016), there are three virtues, when combined, that make up an ideal team player. Making teamwork part of our organizational culture requires us to be role models by demonstrating humility (lack ego or concern for status), hunger (look for more to do, learn, take on) and people smarts (have common sense and be interpersonally appropriate). People who have all three can be counted on to put relationships and team performance above their own interests.

Vulnerability – Being vulnerable proves you have the courage to be you. We can demonstrate vulnerability by asking for help, admitting mistakes, apologizing, challenging power, and exposing our feelings. By opening ourselves up, we create deeper connections, encourage creativity, remove ego from the equation, and build a strong bond of loyalty (OrgHealth, n.d.).

Belonging – People feel included when they get invited to the table, and gain a sense of belonging when their voice matters during decision-making. We need to be conscious about creating a culture where people can bring their whole selves to work, have the psychological safety to lean in with a different view and feel valued for their contributions.

Now, let’s be clear, I don’t have this all figured out. I am and always have been a work-in-progress. What’s interesting about this research is that it helps us take relationship building to the next level. It’s a call to action to be better, do better, and make every interaction count. I’m “all in” for that!

“To build courage in teams and organizations, we have to cultivate a culture in which brave work, tough conversations, and whole hearts are the expectations, and armor is not necessary or rewarded” – Brene Brown

References:

Frei, F. X. (2021, August 31). Everything Starts with Trust. Harvard Business Review. https://hbr.org/2020/05/begin-with-trust

Hurwitz, M., & Hurwitz, S. (2015). Leadership is Half the Story: A Fresh Look at Followership, Leadership, and Collaboration. University of Toronto Press.

Radical Candor. (2022). Radical Candor | Kim Scott’s Proven Feedback Framework. Radical Candor. https://www.radicalcandor.com/our-approach/

Lencioni, P. M. (2016). The ideal team player: How to Recognize and Cultivate The Three Essential Virtues. John Wiley & Sons.

Vulnerability: A How-To Primer | Articles | OrgHealth. (n.d.). https://www.orghealthteam.com/blog-library/vulnerability-a-how-to-primer